So I'm pretty sure I broke two of my toes last night - or at least jammed them badly. Its been 24 hours and they are still throbbing, swollen, and black/blue. Here's how it all went down:
There was a balloon by our fireplace and I went to kick it up in the air (don't ask why). Oh, I kicked it alright, but NAILED the fireplace with my poor little foot. I heard the crack in my toes. I hit the ground and was writhing in pain. Troy, sitting 5 feet away, barely even acknowledges me. I think I heard him cringe, but that was it. I was down for several minutes...being surprisingly tough: no swearing, screaming, or crying...but at one point I did say something like "I'd rather be in labor right now." It H.U.R.T. Troy did nothing. Sorry, he's a great husband, but just has zero ability to intervene when I'm injured. I've seen this from him before so I know not to expect much. He has the "I-hope-she's-okay-quickly-so-I-can-laugh-hard-out-loud" problem. Sympathy? Nope. Help? Nope. Super guy, horrible nurse. Anyway.....I finally get to a point where I can sit up and I decide I'm done painting/decorating; I'm just going to take my sorry little toes and go to bed. I tell Troy this and he says, "You need some ice". Blah, whatever, dude. Then, GET THIS! As I'm heading up to bed I hear him call out "Ohhhhhh, ewwwwwww" and he inhales really sharply and cringes. I'm thinking: 'Oh, he's realizing that I'm in pain and limping and he's going to help me up to bed.' But NOOOOOOOO. I come back around the corner and see him grimacing in front of the TV. He says "Ah, did he get hurt?!?!?" Oh!My!Word! He is watching the basketball game and some stupid player went up for a layup, missed the shot, and came down hard. HE WAS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE STUPID BASKETBALL PLAYER THAN ME!!!! Some rich, popular, 7 foot, 250 pound big, tough, guy playing in the NCAA tourney gets more sympathy than me. Funny thing was that Troy didn't even realize that he reacted more strongly to his basketball player than he did to me. I shot him a very non-Christian look and maybe mumbled a few things to him about hoping his bball best friend would start cooking and cleaning the house for him while I was unable to walk the next few days.
Man, what are these guys thinking sometime?
Troy - I still love you and I've forgiven you for your incredible oversight, but my toes are not so forgiving. I'm thinking about slipping some laxatives in his breakfast tomorrow; don't tell him.