Thursday, July 15, 2010

Confessions

I need to come clean.  Got a few things to get off my chest.  Maybe some of you do, too. I've been working hard all day and need to lighten my load....so I'm just going to the verge of insanity...then I'll be back to normal tomorrow.  I promise.
  • I give fake phone numbers at checkout counters simply to win a game that the cashier doesn't even know she's playing. 
  • I got sworn at by Ryan tonight.  When I corrected his behavior he said in his meanest voice ever, "Don't bust my buffers!!!"  Which leads me to another confession: I can not wait to meet the creator of Thomas the Train in heaven...I'm going to ask him why he had to make the show so addictively dorky.  Sir Topham Hatt??? WHAT?  Seriously, dude.  Did you run that one by your wife?
  • I take as many chocolate mints as I can when I leave The Tavern. I don't even care if I look ridiculous doing it. Yes, I know you can buy them....but you can also fit about 10 in each handfull.  (Mom, it's a pizza place....don't worry.)
  • Sometimes I leave the shower knob pushed in (so the shower stays on rather than just coming out of the downspout) just so it will hit my husband in the face...I'm so amused by his reaction.
  • If I hang a picture on the wall and realize it is crooked, I put a ball of masking tape on the back to hold it in a straighter position.  Classy.  You should try it.
  • I could probably watch 50 straight hours of cheerleading.  I make fun of Troy for watching game film over and over and over (he's doing it right now) but if someone wanted to put in a DVD of cheerleading competitons...I would rewind and replay, too.  Same with some TV shows....but I won't tell you which ones.
  • I could eat an entire block of Cracker Barrel Vermont Sharp White Cheddar Cheese.  It is delish.  I try to eat just the 1 square inch serving size...but it is ridiculously good and I can't stop myself.
  • I hate Walmart, but have forced myself to go to it for the last month.  I've survived.  I haven't contracted any wierd diseases (yet) and I've actually saved a lot of money.  Yes, I tracked my cost savings - it was impressive.
  • Troy made his own birthday dinner tonight.  I didn't make it for him.  He wanted to play with his new smoker and it was a big flop.  Aren't I a nice wife? I did make him some cupcakes though.
  • My days are better if I have a Mt. Dew before 10 AM.  My kidneys are totally cool with that.
  • Speaking of soda, sometimes I don't pay the required 25 cents for soda at work.  I really need to pay that change cup back.  And I will....someday.
  • I get giddy at the thought of having my van detailed.  I don't know if anything would make me happier right now.  I am a true dork.
I could go on and on...but I need to retain a sense of dignity and a few friends...so I'll stop there.  AHHHHHH, I feel better.

8 comments:

une autre mère said...

That was seriously hilarious. You may be the quirkiest person I know - which is a good thing. Really.

A few questions for you: How do you know Thomas' creator will be in heaven? Does Troy ever return the shower "favor" for you? Why do you hate crooked pictures at your own house, yet run around my house turning my pictures on their sides? When can we get together and watch cheerleading videos? Do you really thing Walmart is cheaper than Target? I think not. I hope not. I will still refuse to shop there. Did Troy turn 30 today? Happy B-day Troy!

Oh, and one more - Do you really think it's possible to "kill" me on the court? What are you on, anyways? BRING IT! ;)

Party of Seven said...

Thank you for the genuine laughs. I refuse to admit how many of these faults we share. If Thomas gives you the willies, I'll suggest some other shows for you sometime. Gotta love Ryan. Truly sorry about the smoker flop; I'm sure Mark'll still be willing to risk it, though. I will also say: WELCOME to the dark side!

Nikkers said...

You are so funny. If it makes you feel better I am a Walmart shopper too. I love Target and would much rather go to Target but usually save money at Wamart. Plus, I can run to Walmart real quick if I haven't had a shower and fit right in with probably 90% of it's customers.

Kimberly said...

Wal-Mart is more fun for me to shop at since I changed my attitude. Now I try and count how many women are in wife beaters with no bras, or how many kids are running around the store with parents no where in sight. It's fun if you make it a game. I also compare the items in my cart with those who are on WIC (I think that's the correct acronymn) and discover everytime that with my coupons I'm still getting more and spending less than they are.

The Sneaky Mommy said...

Well, HELLO MS. SASSY PANTS! Happy Friday! I find Thomas to be quite helpful if I'm wanting to be lulled into a deep dark coma of afternoon napping.
Walmart...um, no, nope, nadda. My heart is loyally divided between Target and Fareway. My deep delving into the world of spreadsheet cost comparisons always showed Walmart more expensive on staple items. They also don't take my coupons. XXX
I could go on and on relating...maybe we should just get together soon! :) Keyboard / Piano. You. Me. Sunday. 8:15. Got it? Yes, coffee would be more fun!

Choose Joy said...

Funny! When I saw the title of you blog..."Confessions", my itching ears were peaked. You may be the funniest person I know. Thanks for sharing:)

Following The Fosters said...

love it! you are hilarious and i actually made me laugh out loud making my hubby ask why i was laughing!

Anonymous said...

Love you, crazy girl. Love your quirks. Here's my horrible confession: I've taken to outright thievery. I've been adding a splash (just a tiny splash, but . . .?) of Palmers raspberry iced tea to my free water to kill the West Des Moines water taste. The lemons are free, but take longer when your hands are full. Should I go to jail? or maybe offer to pay for a drink next time and just get water?
jess