Happy Birthday, Dad

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday and I try not to miss any opportunities to semi-publically broadcast about my "special" family. In honor of my one and only Dad/Daddi-o/Dward, I'd like to lift up this little tribute. Dad, you amaze me because:

• If you stretched out your cassette tapes end to end, you could go to the moon and back 95 times. I'm sure you DO listen to all those old sermons, random recordings of my "concerts" in the living room, special music, revivals, etc. I won't tell you to throw them away or have them made into some type of media device that will play on a 2000's type machine.
• If you stretched out your spare vaccuum hoses, you could go to the moon and back another 95 times.
• For being a complete off the charts genius, you simply cannot succeed at games - any games that require speed, drawing, spelling, cards, dice, a board....you get the picture.
• You NEVER forget a name of someone you knew, know, met once, or your 4th grade teacher's daughter's boyfriend's barber's dog. You know middle names, addresses, places of employment, marital status, children, smoking preference, simply EVERY fact about everyone that has had the pleasure of shaking your hand.
• Within 2.1 seconds you can provide someone with: a) a pencil or pen, b) a 3x5 card, c) a paper towel, d) a map (despite that little invention called "GPS"), e) or any published book since 1950 to-date.
• You can sing well, but can't read a lick of music. And you know the history of every single hymn written.
• You find the RIGHT WAY to do everything - even if there is a much faster, easier, less costly way to do it.
• You've never said a bad word...ever. (That I heard). Well, there was that one time when you got really mad and you said "What in the FAT!" I'm still laughing about that.
• Your illustration file is taller than you are. And I would know that - because I filed them all for you...for $1 an hour and thought that was a GREAT deal. I think you violated some child labor laws back in the day.
• You can still put your palms on the ground, kick and touch your foot, and shoot a water balloon or potato gun with the best of 'em.
• You carry around a tire gauge, barometer, and thermometer like they are Swiss Army knives (that one was from Troy).
• You are without a doubt the most wonderful, intelligent, inspirational, consistent, encouraging, honest, insightful, kind, patient, well-rounded, accepting, and loving father and grandfather in the world and I could never find a more "special" family to be a part of - all because of you. Happy birthday from your favorite daughter.